Parent Concerned about Values-based Education confronts Principal

from Bizzaro

Illegal Government Wiretappers Can’t

even tap your phone right!

In Honor of This Evening’s Interview With The Local Mormon Bishop…

Only The British Know How to Do Political Debates!

Myself, I will be voting for Colonel Slap-head Kojak the Third… (Be sure to watch the video to the end for the bum’s rush of endorsements!)

At least the nuns are happy…

Starting the Party Early: Jackie and Dunlap with the Manhattan Transfer!

Sign Me Up Now!

The Food Network Line-up

There’s something frightening about the Food Network, and I’m not talking about just “Thirty Second Meals”…or “Semi-Defrosted Meals with Sandra Lee”…or “2 Dudes Catering”…or “Glutton for Punishment”…or “Food 911″…or “Emeril DOA”…

I’m not even talking about “The Barefoot Contessa” who reminds one not so much of a barefoot artisan in an apron at work in her kitchen as of Fantasia’s dancing hippopotami wearing tutus. No, I’m not even talking about “Everyday Italian” with Giada De Laurentiis, who is not only hot! hot! hot! but is also the granddaughter of Dino De Laurentiis, the Hollywood producer who produced such movie hits as Barabbas and David Lynch’s Doom. (Confidentially–just between you and me–although Giada is a fetching young morsel I wouldn’t eat her cooking either!)

No, what is truly frightening about the Food Network is the Godzilla of Savannah, the monster in extra wide shoes with “a laugh” so hearty and loud it sounds like a percussionist banging on the inside of an empty water tower in downtown Atlanta. I’m speaking, of course, of Paula’s Home Cooking. Paula and her brood (who make frequent cameo appearances between the pouring of whiskey and basting of ribs on the TV screen) seem to have all the cultural refinement of the Huckabee family before they went on crash diets and stopped hanging dogs. I tell ya: This lady sends shivers right up my spine and down my gastrointestinal tract and when she ladles up the gravy onto the corn grits and scoops the bacon-soaked greens onto my virtual plate, I immediately head for the Other Room… This antipathy I have for her isn’t just a vegan thing because she is also a ham-pushing union-buster targeted by labor workers who are now picketing her Savannah food digs. Omnivores Beware!

May I vent?

The Food Network may think that Rachel Ray is America’s new sweetheart, but I think that nobody could ever replace Jodi Foster with that honor. And Rachel Ray is just a cholesterol-binging Bimbo compared to these True Goddesses of the Kitchen!