Archive for the ‘daily bloodletting’ Category

Your Daily Bloodletting

8 February 2008

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Weak January retail sales were the worst they’ve been in almost forty years!

Bellowing in the tar pits, consumer confidence keeps sinking lower…

University of Michigan predicts the recession will be “much longer than usual” (whatever that means)!

But never fear: architects of the mortgage meltdown are reveling in Vegas. But it’s a sad/happy kind of celebration. Like when the comely lap-dancer pukes in your drink!

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Your Daily Bloodletting

7 February 2008

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Tension, disaster, turbulence, financial ruin: Welcome to the Year of the Rat! (It starts tonight with lots of fireworks and plenty of chop suey!!!)

Helping things along like a fire-cracker dragon, the GOP blocked the economic stimulus package in the Senate that Baby Bush had already agreed to… Yeah. Man. Bring on the depression recession!

But nothing would have worked anyway because of the millions of “neutron mortgages”… Never heard of them? Read all about it here.

You can’t stop karma (once it’s sufficiently vested) and according to this Billionaire, the banks are going to get their “just desserts”!

Bon appetit, Rats!

Your Daily Bloodletting

6 February 2008

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It’s getting to be like a broken record, only it’s not the Doobie Brothers or the Lennon Sisters repeating themsevles:

No longer just residential, it’s now commercial properties that are going under the investment bridge and disappearing in the flood waters.

Stocks extended their jaw-dropping fall yesterday a few more additional fathoms today.

And in related news, sales of mac and cheese is spiking!

Yummmmmm–NOT!

Your Daily Bloodletting

5 February 2008

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New York magazine recounts the “eerie familiarity” of the recession we are now in.

Business Week says the American Jobs Machine has conked out.

Stocks went off a cliff today and for good reason.

Meanwhile, vote for any damn fool you’re allowed to!

Your Daily Bloodletting

4 February 2008

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Aussies think the US economy is toast! (You want Marmite on that, Mate?)

CNN-Money.com opines: Why the job market is even worse than you think.

California Foreclosure Bill rejected by a vote of one.

Markets fell.

Shit happens…

and is put on Display…

Your Daily Bloodletting

1 February 2008

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dr. polidori here, reporting Live for The Weather Channel this evening.

It is snowing, but not the usual white stuff you associate with the 1st Day in February: it is actually a blizzard of pink slips!

If the groundhog sees its shadow tomorrow, I predict it will also have its ass canned and then served as Spam in the nearest homeless shelter…

Meanwhile, those who have taken out equity mortgages or who hope to live off the equity of their houses in their “golden years”, might just as well “hop the stick” now (as they say) since Business Week is predicting at least a 25% drop in home values nationwide before any kind of “bottom” is reached, and most likely that “bottom” will just be another jutting rock which will crumble upon impact and then join the jolly cascade into universal poverty…

I know. You probably think your Weather Channel correspondent is being too bleak, too pessimistic about the forecast. And maybe it’s just a side-effect of his new medication…who knows? He will readily admit, for instance, that it is all just a point of view (depending upon where in the hegemony of our economy you happen to stand–or kneel–or be caught with your head in the next closing clog).

The silver lining in all this bad news (if not the touch of grey in the sliver lining) is the Great News about the Federal Reserve!!! It’s frenetic duty these days is not to alleviate the dire straits of the unemployed and underprivileged who are now lining up for blocks at the empty pantries of food banks (as might be hoped by those same unemployed and underprivileged), but only to save the bacon of the non-food banks’ wealthy owners! And the Christian Science Monitor says so right here.

Of course, Oil People are also hurrahing like never before at the current state of things and even the forecast for the future. Yesterday it was Shell Oil and today it is Exxon-Mobil with record-breaking profits which perhaps they will use, in part, to continue sponsoring Masterpiece Theatre for all us PBS Plebes to enjoy while sleeping in empty factories…

I recommend a new production of Little Dorrit!

Well, that’s it from dr. polidori reporting for the Weather Channel. Stay tuned for an update on how the Big Drug Companies are weathering this gathering storm.

Your Daily Bloodletting

31 January 2008

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dr. polidori was mis-diagnosed with a fatal medical problem this past weekend, which diagnosis caused him to sorrowfully climb into bed with Lord Ruthven. But then the actual radiologist’s report made leap out again, resurrected from a veritable tomb as it were…

Sorry, but the same cannot be said of our ailing economy which like the people of Iraq is apparently still in its last throes! One financial expert in that regard set off wails and big orders of sack cloth yesterday (the ashes to be provided by self-immolations of the bond trader’s wives). You see, S and P is mulling 500 billion in mortgage downgrades, while the Feds cut interest rates for the second time in 8 days (which is the financial equivalent of open chest heart massage).

But never fear, Shell Oil just announced “‘obscene’ profits of 27.6 billion dollars” while the ranks of the homeless continue to grow exponentially.

You really have to read the article about the economic stimulus package of 1929. It’s so important that I put it in a separate post below.

Ah, read it!!!

The Barons of Shell Oil are, no doubt, now sighing with Mdme. de Pompadour: “After us, the deluge!”

Your Daily Bloodletting

24 January 2008

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Has the World finally found someone, some one individual, to blame for this week’s economic upheaval?

How about this man?

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Doesn’t quite work for you? How about this one?

Europeans just don’t seem the easy scapegoats they used to be, do they?

How about this one?

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Oh shit! We’ve already hanged him!

Help me think…Okay, I’ve got it!

Let’s blame all our economic woes on this guy!

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Works for me.

Your Daily Bloodletting

23 January 2008

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The poor in America haven’t recovered from the losses they suffered during the last economic recession…don’t you just love Capitalism? (I know I do!)

Meanwhile, IBM (as previously reported on this blog earlier today) has somehow finagled record profits but intends to not share any of it with their employees and even plan to cut their employees basic pay; whilst complete loser executives, like those at WaMu (who have almost bankrupt their bank), are still receiving their million dollar bonuses so they won’t have to go without caviar and their vacation homes in Maui!…don’t you just love the generosity of Capitalists? (Makes my own heart go pitter-pat.)

In Davos today, business leaders had the gall to criticize the Federal Reserve, and one of them (George Soros) is almost sane.

But the Invisible Hand in the Markets today was doing some card and pony tricks…the Stock Market soared up over 300 points but only because there are serious rumors that the insolvent bond insurers are going to be bailed out by the U.S. taxpayers (i.e. the middle class and the poor, remember, who haven’t yet recovered from the last recession) which bail out will save all the banks from probable insolvency and ensure good multi-million dollar bonuses for the banks’ top brass next year and the year after…

Don’t you just love the way Capitalists are adamantly opposed to government bailouts of other people?

I know I do.

Your Daily Bloodletting

22 January 2008

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It’s a Sad Day.

Heath Ledger, the Brokeback lover and Joker of Batman, is dead.

Capitalism is dead in its last throes…

Or at least, the Federal Reserve is apparently afraid of that prognosis, having cut interest rates today in an emergency attempt at resuscitating the plummeting World markets–something they have never seen fit to do to the same degree in the past 23 years!

You remember the old saw about America sneezing and the rest of the World catching a cold?

Well, what happens when America goes into cardiopulmonary economic arrest?

Does the World then commit suttee like a grieving Indian housewife upon the funereal pyre of her husband? We may be about to find out… But meanwhile the wife is spending all the life insurance money in some sad/happy kind of expectation of impending gloom pending the bonfire…

Those old Socialists, the dreary lot, are wagging their scolding fingers like the ghosts at every good banquet and saying I told you so!

They are especially unwelcome at Capitalism’s wake…but there they are

And The Joker then appears, only it ain’t Heath Ledger any more!

And Cassandra hardly has to use her powers of prophesy to know what’s ultimately in store for Troy, New York, and the rest of the World!

Let’s pretend, why don’t we? that nothing actually happened yesterday, last week, last month, last year, and that we are still in silly fear and loathing of the Y2K disaster that never happen because Time had suddenly stopped still on its Time’s Square dial, the balloons and confetti still in their nets and baskets.

Let’s just pretend, okay?